So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
