God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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