I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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