North Korea, Best Korea!
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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