omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
