McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
