i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
We have so much sex to catch up on
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
