there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
