erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
