Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
