i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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