I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
