I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I smell like Dick and happiness
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