so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
