chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
