I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
