remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
