he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
