i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
