I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I need to stop coming to work sober
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
