You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Randomize
