Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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