I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
