I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
