Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
