I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
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