you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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