piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
