He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
