well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
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