We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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