Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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