Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
