I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
