rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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