i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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