and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
