Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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