brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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