Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
