You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
