Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
