I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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