omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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