he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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