ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
