I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
