U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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