I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
you will always have a special place in my vag
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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