So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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