My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Randomize
